Happy Monday! We are back on! Today’s post is a guest post by me, Vidhi- Mohit’s sister! I was listening to the most interesting podcast this week by none other than the supremely lovable Jonathan Van Ness from Queer Eye! The topic was a discussion with Dr. Leaf about why do we internalize on negative experiences more than the positive?
I know I have definitely been guilty of thinking in this way. An example would be in which I would think more about maybe a day gone wrong at work or maybe a flight I missed or a bad date more than the good experiences. Why am I tearing out my hair at the bad experiences in life?
Dr. Leaf raises an interesting point that the mind can change the brain. Once I can find the one thing that makes me happy, then our mind can control our brain and we have the ability to create our own reality with the way we think. I tried to apply this in the simplest way possible because as hectic as life is, I do sometimes feel that we can be very unhappy because of the negative experiences that happen to us despite of having all the joys in life. So I reversed back into thinking about what is the smallest thing that makes me happy? For me it is having my cup of chai and watching the sun rise, every morning. I then started to put that into practice somehow at night feeling more positive about seeing the sun rise, to waking up without an alarm and seeing the sun rise each morning. This simple thing changed my perspective completely and actually enabled me to put my negative experiences into perspective. Let’s say for instance, I made a mistake while the work day was just going crazy and was feeling miserable about it. The old me would have wrecked out my brains about it for a whole week. Now I think, “oh well, what can I change right now so this does not happen again?”.
It is so true that as human beings we are wired towards an optimism bias. Our brains are just so conditioned to expect only the positive things be it a good day at work, an amazing conversation with a friend or even a good date, we are wired to block out the complete opposite. When we are faced with the opposite, the thought or action is just so jarring that we cannot accept and naturally just want to block it out. We can control how we react to the negative things in life even though we cannot control what happens. When we start to see things as negative from our minds then everything looks negative and we are damaging our brain cells. If we think differently about the situation, we think, feel and choose differently. Dr. Leaf’s science is correct. The mind can change the brain, if we re-wire the way we think, and we can create our own reality.
Do watch the podcast linked below and let me know of your thoughts!
See you all next Monday!